Am I a Fraud?
We all have times in our lives where the wind gets knocked out of our sails. To be perfectly honest, I’m in one of those seasons as we speak. And to be even more honest, I hate the phrase “season of life” – when someone comes up with a better way to define a period of time… please let me know.
While putting this very website together, I’ve been fighting myself every step of the way. Asking a million questions that I’m learning don’t really need, or even possibly deserve, an answer.
“Is this good enough?”
“Can I really say I’m a _____?”
“Will anyone care?”
“Am I ever going to get a JOB?”
“Do I want one???”
I think that the area in which I struggled the most — wait. We’re being honest here. The thing I am struggling most with right now while putting the finishing touches on my site, is saying that I am a writer. And when I sat down to think of what I could put here to PROVE that I am in fact a writer, I literally could only think of adding the first chapter of a book I’ve been writing for literally eight years. That certainly CANNOT be enough! I teetered for quite some time on the edge of removing that section and statement so that no one would even have to know it existed. No one would need to know that I consider myself a writer.
Then I decided I WANTED to keep it, and when I told one of my friends her response was, “Then keep it.” Easy as that.
It’s not as easy as that. Most of what I’ve written amounts to half of two unfinished books, and reams and reams of copy writing for websites, postcards, product descriptions and newsletters. Not exactly thrilling material that I would want to subject anyone who decides to take a look into my professional life to.
But, I’ve decided that I’m keeping it because even though I don’t have heaps and tons of exciting writing samples, I still know I am capable, I am creative, and that there WILL be things that I am so proud of that I can’t wait to share them here.
So thanks for reading, and can’t wait to see you back here soon!
Gena
All the questions I have asked at some point in my life. Shoot – I think I asked most of them by 10:30 am today!
Thanks for sharing the journey (another word that is overused and also needs a replacement).
Maybe writing is like a really good dog that is there for us any time we come back to it? It’s definitely been that for me.
Excited to see all the other ‘half-written’ things that you have coming, because it’s in that process a whole one will be done.
Cuz you, my dear, are not a fraud.